Why San Francisco Is The Most Beautiful City On Earth

I spend a lot of time talking shit about San Francisco, and to be fair to the city, there is plenty to complain about. This little seven-by-seven-mile stretch of land is packed with contradictions, weirdness, and complete absurdity. Yet somehow, it is also the most beautiful place on Earth.

You’re probably already thinking something stupid like, “Abe, you haven’t visited every city in the world. How could you possibly know San Francisco is the most beautiful?”

My incredibly sophisticated response is simple: I don’t give a shit. Shut the fuck up.

Sure, some streets are filthy, and yes, there is crime. And if you ever find yourself trapped in uphill traffic while people are behaving like absolute crackheads on a steep San Francisco street, you might honestly decide that burning your car would be preferable to sitting there. The city has plenty of flaws. It is far from perfect.But somehow, it remains paradise.

And honestly, most of what is wrong with San Francisco isn’t really the city itself. It’s people. People are terrible sometimes, but that isn’t a San Francisco-specific problem. Awful people exist everywhere. San Francisco does not have a monopoly on shitty human beings. Grow the fuck up.

A City With Views Like Nowhere Else

Where else can you walk up a relatively gentle hill and suddenly find yourself looking out over the Pacific, the Bay, towering skyscrapers, multiple bridges, rolling hills, and distant mountains all at once?Nowhere fucking else.

San Francisco is so ridiculously beautiful that simply looking at it can make the existence of God seem almost obvious. Then you look around at the state of the city and start wondering whether God gives a shit at all.

I’ve written something along those lines in a poem before. You should buy my book. It’s packed with depressing poems and short stories, and honestly, I’m actually not terrible at this writing thing.Anyway, back to San Francisco.

Wander Through North Beach

When was the last time you actually spent some time wandering around North Beach?

Whatever you do, leave your car at home. North Beach will destroy your car for breakfast. And by lunchtime, I imagine it would be serving up some bizarre Chinese-Italian combination meal, which somehow feels perfectly appropriate for the neighborhood.Just bring your feet.

Walk around without a destination. Feel the chilly air blowing in from the Bay. Take your time and enjoy being there.

Walk up toward Coit Tower. Look across at the Bay Bridge. Feel grateful that you aren’t trapped inside a car trying to cross it during rush hour. From where you stand, the bridge isn’t just infrastructure anymore. It becomes art.That is what San Francisco really is.It’s a painting disguised as a city.

If you insist on judging it purely by the standards of a practical, efficient, well-functioning city, you’re probably going to end up frustrated. San Francisco isn’t particularly functional, and it certainly isn’t always practical.It’s something stranger.It feels like a surreal landscape that somehow became real.So let yourself dream.

Forget the people, the politics, the endless problems, and all the things that constantly try to pull you back into reality. San Francisco is a place where you’re supposed to dream while your eyes are still open.And North Beach is one hell of a place to do exactly that.

Let the City Breathe at Dolores Park

Head over to Dolores Park in the Mission District.Grab a beer. Grab a book. Find a bench and sit there for a while.You don’t need some elaborate plan or tourist itinerary. Just watch the city move around you. Watch people come and go. Watch San Francisco breathe.Sometimes that’s enough.

Beauty Exists Everywhere in San Francisco

Even the neighborhoods that get ignored, dismissed, or labeled as “less desirable” can be incredibly beautiful.

Take Bayview, for example. You can say whatever the hell you want about Bayview, but there’s one undeniable fact right in the name: Bayview has a fucking bay view.Then there’s Visitacion Valley.

There is much more to that neighborhood than the Sunnydale Projects. It also has John McLaren Park, which can feel like Golden Gate Park without all the tourists and tech workers wandering around.

And honestly, I hope this article blows up so people from Visitacion Valley and the Excelsior can come yell at me about it.I’m going to ruin your park.By the time I’m finished, I’ll have transformed it into Patagonia Planet.Just kidding.

I’m not actually trying to send hordes of outsiders into your neighborhood. I simply want people to understand that these places have something special. They deserve to be recognized, too.So consider this my little nod to them.

Twin Peaks Is Still Incredible

And don’t even get me started on Twin Fucking Peaks.Yes, it’s a tourist attraction.Yes, plenty of visitors go there.I still don’t give a fuck.It is spectacular.

I don’t care how deeply you consider yourself a true San Franciscan. If you stand at Twin Peaks, look out across the city, and claim that the view isn’t beautiful, you’re lying.

You can complain about tourists all you want. You can complain about the crowds, the city, the politics, the mess, and everything else.

But you cannot honestly deny that Twin Peaks is one hell of a beautiful place.